I dated a guy several years ago and it taught me some valuable lessons. One of which was paying attention to how he viewed money, particularly my money.
I was working a full-time job, at the time, and I was also receiving compensation as a disabled veteran. To put it concisely, I was financially comfortable. I had a nice apartment, and everything I needed, plus a lot of things I simply wanted. I traveled when I wanted, purchased things I desired. However, I did budget. I saved money towards trips. I shopped using discount codes and coupons for things I desired that weren’t necessities.
This article is to help you determine if the person you’re dating is more concerned with your pocket than his own.
Here’s a few red, or at least pink, flags:
* They ask you where you see yourself living in three years when they live in an uninhabited apartment.
* They say things such as, “I wonder if you’re the type of person who would hold out on me,” after they ask you for money and you say “No.”
* If you tell them you don’t have any money, they then ask you to take them to the store, and while there they ask you for money.
* They always have a reason for wanting to go places in your car; they may even offer to drive.
* They don’t give you money for gas, except maybe $10 when it takes $45 to fill it up.
* You go to a restaurant and they order extra items and don’t have the money to pay for their portion of the bill.
* They spend most weekends at your place, eat your food, washes and dries their clothes, uses your laundry detergent, etc. and never gives you money for groceries or utilities.
* They constantly tell you they’ll give you money for things and don’t; things that they’ve asked you to do or asked you to purchase.
* They remind you how many checks you bring home each month.
* They brag to others about the money you have coming in.
* If their family is planning a trip, they don’t go if you won’t go. The idea may be that their planning on you going and driving your car.
* They talk about jobs you could do and how much you could earn while they work a low-income job and lacks ambition to do better. Meanwhile, you have more educational degrees than they do and you’re working in a field utilizing your degrees.
* They’re raising their teenage son or daughter and complains the mother knows their financial situation and isn’t “helping” them.
This isn’t a checklist to see if your partner, or potential partner, is viewing you as a “come up.” This is just a short list of some things for you to consider, ESPECIALLY if they earn less money than you or aren’t good at budgeting. We’ve all been there, or most of us have been there. The place where we really like a person, even love them, and a point comes when you began to feel taken advantage of.
In hindsight, you want to believe they really cared about you. You want to believe they were too immature to hold themselves accountable for their own finances, or how their words and actions affected you. Or maybe they really were after your purse, not in a way to use it as an accessory, but in the way to use what was in it – your money or your credit.
Thank you for reading this article. I’d love to read your thoughts below and to read if you’ve had similar experiences. If you’ve been in any of the above situations, what are some red flags you’d like to share?
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