Growing Pains are Life Lessons

Growing Pains

Fight or flight: something happens that we prefer hadn’t, it may startle us, it may disorient us.

The muscles in our body prepare for one of two things; to fight that thing or situation or flight, meaning to run away from it.

Most people don’t recognize our brain functions according to what we feed our minds; what stimulates us and our thought processes.

When something traumatic, emotional, overwhelming, confusing, exciting, soothing, etc. happens our brain prepares to fight or take flight. Either fight that feeling by accepting it, maneuvering within it, processing it, learning what we can from it, and thus growing emotionally and intellectually from it. Or our brain decides flight: to run from it, disregard those thoughts and feelings, pretend the issue doesn’t exist, or pass off the responsibility onto someone or something else. 

The former, the fight, it’ll hurt immediately. We may feel some emotional turmoil but because we’re fighting, we’re working our way through it. That’s the key, continue moving forward, learning more about yourself and others through the process. Learning helps us grow and is the reason I call fighting through emotional pain, growing pains. 

Say you’re a person who constantly overlooks another person’s flaws even after repeated let downs, dishonesty, being verbally/emotionally/physically neglected or abused. Once you free yourself and your mind from that person and look at the signs, you’ll know to recognize them sooner rather than later in the next person you befriend or date. You’ve learned that you aren’t required by life, or others, to give additional chances to people. You’ll learn that your voice is worth being heard and that you’re important. You’ll also have learned that you’re worth having stability in your life. 

When you run from a situation, flee from it, it likely won’t be long before something similar crops up again. You can put off dealing with a challenge, which only prolongs you finding a solution and resolving it. You’ve decided to continue on in whatever negative pattern of behavior that you’re enduring, even when you say you don’t want to. You decide where your life goes. You decide who receives your energy. When you run from a problem, you’ve essentially given that person or problem control over your life. You’re bound to it until your stand, fight it, and resolve it.

Once you’re aware of your unwillingness to find solutions, you then need to decide to actually work toward finding resolutions. It will hurt because you’re growing: you’re becoming stronger, wiser, and emotionally mature. 

Once you choose and maintain healthy boundaries, life will become more enjoyable. You’ll feel lighter. You’ll feel freer. The old chains that you allowed to previously hold you are no longer there. You’ve outgrown them and are walking forward into your new life.

Embrace change.

Know who you are.

Believe who others show you they are.

Build and maintain healthy emotional and physical boundaries.

Know you’re worth having a peaceful life.

Understand your life’s path is your choice.

Own it. Live it. Continue to grow. Be happy.

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Leave a comment below. I look forward to reading your experience(s) of when you had to mentally decide to fight a negative situation or flee from it.

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I journeyed from GED to a PhD in Psychology. I decided to focus on my writing once I retired from the clinical field. I write in various genres and have several WIPs for publication once edited. I post articles on this website for intellectual and entertainment purposes.

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