People say they want to be loved unconditionally without understanding what it really means. So, what does it mean?
It means loving someone without condition; without regard to their behavior and attitudes. You love them simply because of who they are as a person; good, bad, or indifferent. Unfortunately, it’s those who seek it who are usually unwilling or unable to reciprocate.
Let me share a real life story:
Dahlia said she wanted unconditional love from Ebony, her younger sister, though Dahlia continually verbally pushed her away. Dahlia would complain that Ebony didn’t call her as much as she wanted her to versus cherishing the times they did speak. Dahlia was also nonresponsive to many of Ebony’s voice messages, texts, and emails. Finally Ebony stopped reaching out to her after not receiving a reply from Dahlia in over three weeks. Dahlia sent Ebony an invitation to a birthday celebration, which she didn’t attend due to Dahlia being emotionally absent from their relationship. Dahlia felt shunned by Ebony and claimed Ebony didn’t love her. What Dahlia didn’t understand was that it was her actions that drove her Ebony away.
Dahlia was unable to give TO Ebony what she wanted FROM Ebony – time and communication. Dahlia had reasons for being nonresponsive. She claimed to be busy with working two jobs. Dahlia may have been busy, but she failed to realize that in relationships, both people have to make an effort and Dahlia wasn’t making any. She wanted Ebony to do all the work.
A one-sided friendship or relationship puts all the burden on one person. Burdens and commitments are meant to be shared. One person is never strong enough to carry the weight of a relationship on their own for very long. Attempting to do so slowly kills the carrier from the inside out. Over a period of time, the burden-bearer will become worn out to the point of not having anything else to give to the relationship. They’ve given their all and have nothing left. It’s at this time the relationship is dead and the carrier must decide to die along with it, or bury it and walk away.
One-sided unconditional love doesn’t make a friendship or relationship healthy. Some people will learn the lesson of loving from afar in order to maintain a peaceful and healthy life.
What are your thoughts on the above article? I look forward to reading your thoughts.
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