I Should Have Hung Up


“Thanks for accepting my invite on Facebook?” Clown asked.

My reply was simple. “I’m trying to drive traffic to my blog page and I had to create a Facebook profile page in order to create a Fan Page. When someone sends me an invite, I accept so I can then invite them to like my page, and from there they’ll read about my blog and hopefully subscribe to it.”

(C): “Oh, is that the only reason?”

(M): “Yup, that’s it. Do you like to read?”

(C):“Yes, I do, send me your blog site.” A few days past and then …

(C): “I read your blog articles. You write a lot about love. Is that important to you?” Thinking that was a strange question, I replied, “Isn’t it important to everyone? Did you read my other articles on there? What’d you think of them?”

(C): “They were good. Made me think of a lot of things.”

(M): “Like what?”

(C): “Like I still like you. I want to see you.”

(M): “It’s been close to 30 years. I can assure you that I’m not the same person I was back then. Yeah, I still have the same character traits and the same heart, but my tolerance is different.”

(C): “So, what do you do for fun?”

(M): “I write, of course. I read a lot. Go roller skating, go out with friends.”

(C): “What friends? Male or female?”

(M): “Mostly single female friends since I’m single and don’t get asked out much.”

(C): “Tell me about your girlfriend. Send me her picture.” (M): “What do you want her picture for?”

(C): “To see her. You hang out with her, I’d like to see what she looks like.”

(M): “For what? You’re being weird. Don’t you have a girlfriend?”

(C): “I have a lady friend. We’ve been together for about five years.”

(M): “Does she live with you? You two have kids?”

(C): “I live with her. After about a year, she asked me to move in with her and I did. She has a son. We don’t have kids together. She said she wants to have a baby, but wants to be married first.”

(M): “Are you considering getting married? You’ve been with her five years and lived with her for four.”

(C): “No, I’m not going to be anybody’s puppy. But, if she really wants a kid, I’ll give her one.”

(M): “What do you mean ‘not going to be anybody’s puppy?’ Are you admitting you’re a dog? Well, not a full grown dog, but a little baby dog, a puppy of your own and no one else’s. Is that what you mean? You want to be your own puppy, a baby dog?”

(C): “Well, I guess you could look at it like that.”

(M): “Like what, like you’re a dog?”

(C): “No, but you might say that.”

(M): “Well, why would I say that?”

(C): “Because I want to see you.” (M): “See me for what? You have a girlfriend.”

(C): “I have a lady friend.”

(M): “Really, so let me ask you this – when she’s with you and introduces herself, does she introduce herself as your lady-friend or your girlfriend? You’re weird.”

(C): “I don’t know what she’d introduce herself as.”

(M): “Ask her and let me know. It’d be interesting to see if she views who she is to you the same as you view her.”

(C): “So, you never sent me a picture of your girlfriend.”

(M): “And, I won’t. Why do you keep asking me for her picture?”

(C): “I’d rather have you than her, but since you’re acting like you don’t want to see me, maybe I can see her.”

(M): “You’re really crazy. You act like you have options and that every woman wants to be with you and you can just choose who you want. You have a lady-friend at home, actually you live in her home. That should be enough for you.”

(C): “I always have at least two lady-friends.”

(M): “What?”

(C): “I always have at least two lady-friends. My second lady-friend and I just broke up so I need to find another one.”

(M): “You’re really something else.”

(C): “We broke up because she wanted to get married.”

(M): “Did she know she was your side chick?”

(C): “Yeah, she knew.”

(M): “Then, how did she expect you to marry her when she knew you were living with another woman? Sounds like you two deserved each other. Do you and your lady-friend have an open relationship?”

(C): “No. I’m open, but she’s not.”

(M): “So, wait, she thinks you two are exclusive?” (C): “Yeah, she does. And, my second lady-friend has to be exclusive, too,”

(M): “Wait, let me see if I got this right – you live with your girlfriend, excuse me, lady-friend, and she thinks you’re only with her. On the side, you have another girlfriend, who knows about the one you live with and she doesn’t see anyone else.”

(C): “Yeah, that’s my requirement. If she wants to be with me, she can’t be with anyone else.”

(M): “But, you can be with two women at the same time, but your second woman can’t have a second man. Talk about double standards. And, here you are asking about a friend of mine as if she would really want someone like you.”

(C): “So, when can I see you?”

(M): “Never. I don’t even take you seriously. Something’s not right in your head.”

(C): “Why do you say that?”

(M): “Because real men, mature men, don’t do those things or think the way you do. I want a real man, my own man, not to be someone’s second that connected with me on Facebook who was a childhood friend.”

(C): “I can come down and take you out.”

(M): “Use your money on your lady-friend and spend your time with her. There’s really something wrong with you.”

(C): “Why do you keep saying that?”

(M): “Because there’s something wrong with you. I don’t even take you seriously. You’re a clown.”

(I’d love to read your thoughts on the above story, especially from a male point of view. Leave your comments below and “share” this article using the share buttons.)

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I journeyed from GED to a PhD in Psychology. I decided to focus on my writing once I retired from the clinical field. I write in various genres and have several WIPs for publication once edited. I post articles on this website for intellectual and entertainment purposes.

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