If any of you have tried online dating, I’m sure you could write a mountain of articles from your experiences. Such as …
Melinda didn’t get out much so she decided to try online dating. She was serious about finding someone, but also was cautious so as not to put herself in harm’s way. She only had a few rules, one of which was not to meet men at night for a first date.
Antonio sent her a message. His profile seemed honest enough. It said he worked construction, liked staying in shape, and all the other good things that are probably typical when trying to sell yourself. She returned his message and answered his one of his questions of what she does for fitness. She walked 3+ miles, three times per week, at Gordy’s Park.
It turned out that Antonio ran the same park a few times each week. So, when he mentioned meeting, she suggested they meet there, to walk and talk. He said it sounded like a great idea. Then, he ghosted.
Fast forward one month …
… just a warning, there’ll be a few fast forwards. Even in this modern technology age of high-speed internet, it seemed to Melinda that it took a long time to be asked out.
So a month goes by and Antonio sends Melinda a message, “Hey Melinda, what are you doing this Thursday?”
First of all, where’d he go? And, now he’s back asking me what I’m doing? Let me be nice. I do need to get out and maybe he’s a nice guy. This is online dating and I’m sure he was dating.
“Not much, what’s up?”
“How about we meet at City Line Club in Jersey?”
“That sounds good, but I don’t meet men at night for a first meet. Besides, a club isn’t a good place to talk and get to know more about a person.”
“Okay, well how about a jazz club in Philly?”
Melinda took some time to respond because she was annoyed that he seemed to not have read what she wrote. All the jazz clubs she knew about only open in the evening. Though jazz clubs were more intimate than a night club, they were still loud and counterproductive to having a conversation.
“Antonio, I really like both of those ideas, but maybe at a later date. For a first meeting, I’d rather be able to actually have a conversation and jazz clubs are loud, though not as much as night clubs. Besides that, I did mention that I don’t meet men at night for the first time.”
“This is why you’re single, Melinda. You’re so selfish; bitchy even. Maybe because you don’t have kids. If you had kids, you wouldn’t be so selfish. If you want a good guy, you should try looking at church. Just so you know, most men online want ‘friendship sex,’ and most women online want ‘free lunch.’
Whoa!!! You’ve got to be kidding me! Really?!?!?!?!? Let me calm down …
“Antonio, I thank you for letting me know that men online want ‘friendship sex,’ now I know what to expect, as well as not expecting to find a nice guy on here. Selfish and bitchy. Hmmm because I think of my safety and don’t meet men for the first time in the dark; if you think so. I would like for you to explain something for me, though. You said most women online want ‘free lunch.’ I walk Gordy Park and you said you run Gordy Park. I suggested we meet there, walk and talk, both of which are free. So, how is that a free lunch? I really hope you find the non-selfish, non-bitchy party girl that you seem to be looking for.”
No reply. Good.
Fast forward another month …
“Sorry for what?”
“Sorry for any misunderstanding.”
“Antonio, I didn’t misunderstand you calling me selfish and bitchy because I wouldn’t meet you at night. But, maybe you misunderstood my seriousness in keeping myself safe.”
“I want a classy lady such as yourself.”
“Okay, now I’m confused. Am I selfish and bitchy or am I a classy lady. I just want to be clear on what you’re saying or with what you’re calling me.”
If any of you have had similar experiences or have comments on Melinda’s situation, I’d love to read them. What would you have done?
Men, I’d love to read your perspective on this whether on behalf of Melinda or Antonio.