I find dating, or trying to date, very disheartening. It seems to me that men don’t “court” women anymore. They seem to expect sex after one or two dates as if a plate of food is payment for my body. I’ve heard from men that they don’t want to waste their money “dating” if they’re not going to get anything in return.
What ever happened to getting to know a person?
Shouldn’t having sex with someone be special and not just something to do? Isn’t a person’s body worth more than a plate of food? Especially, since you can go out and eat by yourself or with other friends.
I’m told that we live in a different time and age and that sex is to be expected, especially among middle aged adults. Men tell me – at our age we’ve had sex, we know what it feels like, we know that we like it, and we want to have it whether in a monogamous relationship or not.
I was asked if I hate men. No, I don’t hate men at all. I hate the pressure put upon me by men that I owe them something. I asked several men how do I know a man is interested in getting to know me as a person or if he simply wants sex? And if him disappearing after one or two dates indicates that he was only interested in sex. I was told that I’m not that special to think a man only wants sex from me after a date. Say that again. Does that mean he wants to have sex with me because he thinks I’m not special?
Again I asked, how do I know if a man is interested in me as a person or if he simply wants sex? I didn’t receive a clear answer. I think a man is only interested in having sex with me IF we have had a nice time out, good conversation, went out on a second date, he invites me over, I decline saying that I don’t know him well enough yet to go to his house, and he doesn’t call me again or return my calls. I take that as my answer, especially since the men I have asked aren’t able to provide me with one.
I will add that when I do go on dates, if there is a second date, I usually pay for something. If we go to the movies and he pays for the movie, I pay for the snacks. If we make it to the unusual third date, I usually pay for that meal. So, where are guys getting the mentality that if they keep taking a woman out on dates they’re owed “something?” Am I not worth spending time with without sex being a factor? I’m told by men that I place too much emphasis on sex. However, they’re the ones who bring it up.
I believe a good relationship begins with friendship and that building a friendship takes time. The men that approach me aren’t willing to put in the time to build a friendship; but seem to want sex as part of friendship building. I have been told that men want “friendship sex.” Hmmmm and yet, I’m told that I place too much emphasis on it. All of the above tells me that the men who are approaching me are not the men that I should be spending my time with. And, before you get the wrong idea – I LOVE sex. I simply want it to be with someone special and not from him making me feel obligated.
What do you think about dating? Should sex be a part of the process? Should it be saved for someone special? Do you think society is oversexualized?
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