Is My Self-Proclaimed OCD Procrastination?

Is Self-Proclaimed OCD Procrastination

As a holder of a PhD in Psychology, I self-analyze myself, my thought processes, my actions and reactions on a regular basis.

I question why I don’t write more, edit more, revise more, research self-publishing avenues more.

I’ve known about myself for years now, that I don’t like to start something that I’m unable to finish within a certain timeframe. Yes, I can say I’ll research four self-publishing companies in the next two days. However, is that realistic in light of other things going on in my life right now. I’m still back and forth to New Jersey to visit and help family members, which shifts my entire schedule. I’m still nocturnal and because I’m getting up earlier than usual two to three times each week, I’m constantly in a state of exhaustion and sleep deprivation.

I want to write, edit, revise, research and my brain refuses to cooperate. Couple that with not wanting to begin something I’m unable to finish. My self-proclaimed OCD says I must finish what I start in a systematic way or wait until I have the time to do so.

I need to have my writing implements, notebook, sticky notes, flash drive, a couple Word document windows open, an online dictionary and synonym finder open, a mug of water, my phone out of reach, and a quiet environment free from distractions when I sit down to do a project.

I find it extremely difficult to concentrate when I don’t have that structure. My mind reminds me that something is missing, that something is out of place. As I attempt to work, my mind keeps going back to that space where the notepad should be, or my eyes glance over to my nearby phone. My mind needs things to be a certain way for me to focus, otherwise I begin to feel anxious. When I feel unsettled, it becomes increasingly more challenging to concentrate. So, to alleviate feeling that way, I make a choice to not write or do writing-related projects until I can have things set up in a way my mind willingly accepts. 

Would someone else call what I do and how I function, or not function, as procrastination? I know I can write this article, edit it, and post it within an hour, which seems to be my time limit lately.

So, here I am with a question:

Do you prefer to begin a task that you know you’ll finish in one sitting?

Do you function more effectively doing projects in pieces?

Are you comfortable waiting to start a project knowing you won’t be able to finish it right away?

I’d love to read your thoughts and how you manage your writing and writing-related projects.

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