A Realization (#TruthTuesday #BDSM)

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I often ask others how long they’ve been in the lifestyle or when they realized they had a fetish or were drawn to kink.

Some say they always knew but didn’t have a name for it. Some discovered it through viewing porn. Some were introduced to it through a partner and realized they liked it and began branching out from there.

My answer has been that I embraced the lifestyle a few years ago, though I’ve only begun immersing myself in it over this past summer after being introduced to Fet by an adult store employee.

Scrolling through vids and pics today sparked a very distant memory. As an adolescent when annoyed at a boy, I’d knee him in his balls. If something was handy (broom handle, metal pipe, etc.) I’d use that to strike with. I enjoyed the look of pain on his face, the way he’d double over, the sound of his grunt. Of course, the boy always told and I’d be reprimanded by family members.

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“Don’t hit boys there!” So, eventually I stopped. Hitting balls turned into grabbing throats during my teenage years. I was that nerdy girl, shy, quiet, borderline anti-social. It was a wonderful surprise to catch a guy off guard by grabbing him by his throat and pushing his back against the wall. I had more male friends than female growing up and they often made jokes about how quick I was with my hands when upset at someone. The recipient of my choking usually walked away mumbling that I wasn’t in my right mind.

I realized hurting, liking to inflict pain on guys, wasn’t so new to me after all. I realized I’d suppressed it due to societal and familial norms. I won’t get into religious teachings. Or treat people how you want to be treated.

I realized I now am who I always was … just with a little more finesse.

When did I realize I was actually into kink? A few years ago.

When did I actually begin engaging in BDSM behavior? As an adolescent.

I’d love to read your comments on things you’ve realized about yourself relating to kink and BDSM, either new revelations or sparks of older memories.

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One thought on “A Realization (#TruthTuesday #BDSM)

  1. porn sex gay

    I really like your post. I will share it on my facebook group. I’m sure most of our group will like it. Thanks

    Reply

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