Many people are drawn to the excitement of someone new. The rule seems to be things should always be fun.
The spontaneity of ideas and suggestions on things to do. They relish the physical activity of going to various places. They enjoy the “fun” of it all. Somehow, the way my brain works, those things are secondary to me. I’d rather simply sit and talk to a person. I enjoy learning about their life, background, inspirations, goals, what makes them tick.
In my personal experience many aren’t able to slow down and have heart to heart conversations. They find the time boring. They aren’t able to share about themselves and I wonder why. I understand some people aren’t used to speaking about themselves, but what’s the difficulty in sharing about how they were raised, how they get along with their family members, what their hobbies are, what their bucket list is, how they envision or desire their future to be?
I find it important as I grow older to know what a person’s inner workings are. I want to know what we may potentially be compatible for: being acquaintances, building a friendship, a potential relationship, a BDSM dynamic, someone to simply engage in hobbies with, etc.
I’m not sure if it’s my clinical background or not, but I desire to know a person’s psyche. I want to know what makes them think the way they do. I want to understand their thought processes. I don’t feel the need to agree with everything they think, say, or do. I love being able to agree to disagree. It’s more important for me to understand who they are as a person.
Due to those things, I find I’m drawn to the exception. I gravitate toward people who are self-aware, self-reflective, and also aware of others intentions and motivations regardless of their lifestyle. I value open minds and hearts, as well as transparent communication.
I enjoy being friends, and in relationships, with those who have different ideas than my own because it makes for interesting conversations. I like spending time with others with different hobbies than my own because it provides opportunities for us to share new experiences together. Even if we’ve done something previously without the other person, doing it together is a new and exciting experience and builds lasting memories.
What do you look for in new people you meet? Do you feel you’re drawn to the exception? Would you rather do the fun exciting stuff or sit and talk to a person for a while? I look forward to reading your thoughts and experiences.
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