The question, “What do you want?” is usually asked when new people first meet each other, usually during the first date or during scene negotiations.
Answers may vary, but most will say something like, “I want to be in a committed relationship,” “I’m looking for someone to play with,” “I want a sexual partner,” “I’d like to find someone for a M/s dynamic.”
The person may be asked during the first meeting if they’re able and willing to commit to what they said they want. The typical reply is, “Yes.” My internal question is, commit to what? Because their actions and attitudes may differ from their words. Do they mean building a relationship or a friendship, spending time to determine if they want to build a future with me, being physically intimate, building a M/s dynamic with me? Et al.
Commitment to me means putting in the effort to get to know a person, spending time with them, being transparent, and maintaining open and honest communication. It also means being truthful with how I feel about them, so they don’t end up feeling mislead.
Physical intimacy isn’t a part of the equation as I feel it doesn’t have a place in building a general friendship. A commitment to physical intimacy requires a deeper commitment of knowing this person and I are more than a casual fling.
So, my question is: What does commitment mean to you?
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