One of Raymond’s texts was him telling me I need to talk to a local guy since I want to go on dates and actually spend quality time with someone.
He said again he’d stop texting and calling me if I wanted him to. Never mind that I had already blocked his number and his calls weren’t coming through.
I later thought about why a person would tell a possible love interest to find someone who does this or that; someone who makes more money than they do; a person who lives in a nicer house than they do, and on and on. The answer I came up with is that deep down they know they aren’t able to give you what you want.
It’s irrelevant to them that you’re talking to them, spending time with them, dating them because they’re insecure with their place in your life or not recognizing the incompatibility doesn’t reflect on their character. All the things they tell you to go find is their way of pushing you away, so when the friendship or relationship is ends, they can tell themselves it was their idea, which is a lie. It’s a lie because you liked the person and wanted things to work out; they were too immature to see that. You finally call it quits when you get tired of dealing with their defeatist attitude. What they’ve done without realizing it was fulfill their own prophecy.
It’d be beneficial for this type of person to realize they’re that way, take a step back, evaluate the situation, acknowledge they’re making the situation worse, work on being the best they can be, and not mentally push the other person away. This person lashes out not understanding their problem is internal.
Comments are always welcome.
I look forward to reading your experiences from the viewpoint of someone pushing you away or you being the one who disconnected with someone else.
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(This short series was originally posted earlier this year. It’s been deleted, edited, revised, and reposted.)