I’ve heard “It’s complicated” from numerous people.
I’ve seen it written on social media as a relationship status. If it’s a person I know, I ask them to explain the situation. Initially, they decline by repeating, “It’s complicated.” I say something like, “explain it anyway. I’m really curious.”
Sometimes, they indulge me and go into depth about their experience. My reply when they’ve finished speaking is, “I understand what you’ve explained and it wasn’t complicated at all.”
Other times, the person declines by saying they’d rather not discuss it. I admit to being so bold as to challenge someone by saying, “In my personal experience, when someone says ‘it’s complicated,’ it never is. They simply don’t want to explain their situation.”
True, when it’s explained, it’s never seemed complicated to me. However, my perception had changed to include the possibility the person may not be able to articulate their feelings, they may not have critically analyzed the situation, or they simply made a conscious decision to act as if the situation they’re in is nonexistent.
Whatever the reason for them not openly communicating their current relationship status, I disengage from that person. I chose to be around people who are able to make sense of their life, are willing to self-reflect, be honest, face life’s challenges, and find solutions. I consider the “it’s complicated” excuse as a wall some people hide behind so others don’t know intimate details about their status.
Why is this so important to me? I value open and honest communication. I respect authenticity and transparency. I desire those traits in potential friends, loves, and lovers.
Has there been a time someone’s told you “it’s complicated” and the story actually wasn’t? Was there a time when it was? Have you said those words? What was your reason? What do you think when someone says those words to you in response to a question?
I look forward to reading your thoughts and experiences and learning more about differing perspectives regarding the short phrase, “It’s complicated.”
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