Healthy Relationships Aren’t Give and Take

Healthy Relationships Are Not Give and Take

I’ve heard it said, and have even said it myself: Relationships are give and take.

I think that’s true. However, I now question if that’s healthy. I wonder what types of people make up that relationship.

I’m introducing the concept that a healthy relationship isn’t give and take, but is give and give. I believe people should complement, challenge, encourage, support, listen to, and respect each other. I doubt that can be done if you’re taking something away from them.

If your partner is having a bad day and projects that onto you, do you take (accept) what they’ve given and sit in silence feeling bad about how you’re being treated in that moment? Or do you give them compassion instead, ask them what’s wrong, listen to their heart, and console them? Do you see the difference? 

Through giving them empathy, they may take it and in turn give you the care back you’ve just shown them. Give, take, give, receive. It can be a wonderfully perpetual cycle. 

You’ll be appreciative and grateful for each other and what’s given, which typically makes you both want to do more for each other, which is my idea of a healthy relationship.

All of this doesn’t mean not to have and maintain healthy emotional boundaries with people who are takers and not givers. You know the type: they attempt to drain you of resources whether financial, emotional, or physical time, and don’t reciprocate. This is the person you would do well to dissociate from because this isn’t the viable relationship this article is discussing.

There’s a saying, “Givers have to set limits because takers never do.” That’s an article for another time.

What are your thoughts on this article? Do you think healthy relationships are simply give and take? Or give and give?

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I journeyed from GED to a PhD in Psychology. I decided to focus on my writing once I retired from the clinical field. I write in various genres and have several WIPs for publication once edited. I post articles on this website for intellectual and entertainment purposes.

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