I’ve had some interesting experiences with online dating which, unfortunately, mirror real life. I’m realizing that people are people.
What I mean is that here, just like elsewhere, some are honest, some attentive, some jokesters, some with way too much time on their hands, some who don’t know themselves well enough to know what they want and so on. I’ve been wondering when meeting new people, more particularly with messaging people, how much time do I give myself to see into their personality. I have degrees in Psychology, and other than that, I believe I judge character somewhat well. Even when my gut instinct says to “block,” “run,” “don’t respond back,” I find myself still wanting to give the other person a chance. After all, I know I can be wrong. Yes, I’ve said it … I KNOW I’m not always right. Maybe the churning in my gut is from eating too much ice cream.
So, I’ve been putting thought into this over the last few days and came to this conclusion … some people are like energy efficient light bulbs. You’ve heard about being more energy efficient and have seen the bulbs that are 13w but are equivalent to a regular 60w bulb; 11w equal to a 40w; a 100w equivalent to 3000k warm white light bulb. The list can go on. You can browse them in stores such as Lowe’s and Home Depot, even Walmart and Target.
If you’ve used such a bulb you’ve noticed that they don’t shine brightly as soon as you click the switch. It seems they’re on a dimmer switch. It took me some time to get used to when I first started using them. You click the switch and a dim light glows. Over time it begins to shine at its fullest potential versus a regular bulb that shines bright as soon as you turn it on.
Well, some people are like that. They shine as soon as you open their message or email. Their brightness is evident during conversations and how attentive they are. And, some are like energy efficient light bulbs. They seem a tad dim, lack attention to detail, may ask you the same question over and over, seem unable to give a direct answer to a simple straight-forward question. I wonder how bright they’ll become or if they’ll always be dim. Do I give time to see if they’ll shine? Do I turn off the switch, back away, and close the door?
How much time is enough time? Or is it a matter of my own patience? I take what I do seriously. I admit I can be intense. Is waiting to see if they’ll shine part of the process? Do I stay as I am while knowing the right person will be able to keep up with me; will shine brightly as soon as they approach me?
What are your thoughts on this article? Have you had experiences where you wondered how much time was enough time? Or experiences where you simply blocked or deleted without a reply?
I’d love to read what you have to say.