Learning Someone Friendship or Not
Getting to know someone isn’t as simple as only spending time with them. It’s about what’s done with the time spent. Is it the amount of time (quantity) or the significance of what takes place (quality)?
What’s the difference?
Quantity of time is spending a lot of hours with someone doing various activities e.g. roller skating, shopping, going a movie, attending a social gathering. What do all those things have in common? The time is spent with that person AROUND other people.
Quality time may be shorter time periods SPENT TOGETHER; it’s more intimate e.g. cuddling on the sofa to watch a movie, sharing a meal in a quiet place, holding hands walking through a museum, sharing each other’s thoughts and feeling.
Both types of time are important. Quantity time shows you how the person relates to others. You’ll learn if they’re fun-loving, socially awkward, caring, selfish, polite, helpful, easily angered etc. Quality time will show you how they feel inside because of conversations you’ll have. You’ll learn their concerns, fears, how they handle their emotions, what their goals are, and you’ll learn to understand their facial expressions and body language. Of course, you’ll only learn those things, and more, if you pay attention. The best part of quantity and quality time is that while you’re learning about the other person, he or she is also learning about you.
While I don’t believe you can ever fully know a person, I believe you can get to know them to the point of typical predictability. I want to emphasize the word “typical” because situations may bring out a different part of a person’s character that you were unaware of. We’re who we are in our core being, but that doesn’t mean we’re one dimensional. There’s many sides to our overall character and personality. No one person fits neatly into any box, which is something we tend to forget.
Think of this: Have you ever known someone so well that you believed you knew everything about them? Or vice versa? An unexpected situation comes up and you deal with it in an unpredictable way, a way that deviates from your “typical predictability.” Someone may say something like, “I thought I knew you. How could you do that? How could you say that? I don’t know you at all.” In reality, they do know you. They simply didn’t know that side of you. They failed to recognize that you’re a multi-faceted being.
What are some ways you spend quality and quantity time with someone you’re trying to get to know?
Share and subscribe for automatic notification of new posts. Thank you.
nice graphics