How to Touch a Woman: Lesson Three

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Lesson One: Be Gentle          Lesson Two: Be Attentive

Lesson Three: Be Adventurous & Spontaneous

You’ve read about starting off gently with a new partner and practiced being attentive. Hopefully, you’re with the same partner and will continue to move through these lessons, which will heighten intimacy (and orgasms) between you two.

This lesson is about being adventurous; taking the initiative to try new things. Some people are sexually passive by nature or may have a low sex drive. If your partner is your sexual opposite, then it’s up to you to be the dominant one. Not dominant as in BDSM-type stuff, but dominant meaning you take the initiative.

I know you’re wondering, “take initiative to do what exactly? You’re saying try new things, but new things like what?” For those of you who have watched porn, think of some things you may have seen and enjoyed watching. Role play, for example. Dressing up and acting out a scene, maybe. Surprise your lover with lingerie. Taking a field trip to an adult store and browsing around will surely give you both ideas on what you’d like to try, even if only massaging each other with oils or wearing crotch-less undies.

Do something you’ve never tried before as a couple. If you’ve been together for some time and have built trust you’ll have more options. For example, if you’ve only known a person a few weeks you’re not likely to allow them to blindfold you and tie you up. That’s why trust is important along with communication. Talk about what you’d like to try and then do it. Try tying each other up, one at a time of course, and having your way with them within their boundaries. What that means is this: if your partner said they don’t want to try anal sex, don’t tie them up and shove something up their ass. That’s a definite no-no.

On the flipside: if your partner is open to trying anal sex and has never tried it before – make sure you have condoms, lube and patience to go in slowly while being aware of whether or not you’re causing your partner pain. You may even want to start with using an anal trainer, which would be my suggestion, unless you have a small cock (men, you know if you’re small – no judgment).

I think I got ahead of myself. Let’s back up and take smaller strides in learning to be adventurous and spontaneous. Imagine doing something small like this: smack your partner on the ass while having sex. Body language, likely a moan or grunt, will tell you if they like it or not. If you’re on your knees entering her from behind and her back is arched, reach up and grab her hair. No, not PULL her hair. Reach up and gently (Lesson One) gather her hair into your hand as if your hand is a ponytail band. Be attentive (Lesson Two) to her body language. Does she pull away? Does she arch her back further to make it easier for you to hold her hair? Does she moan, “Yes, baby,” as she throws her sex back so you can fill her up?

Something else you can try: if you’re doing missionary style or what’s called “side doggy,” place your hand on your partner’s neck. Don’t squeeze, because you don’t know yet if they like it. The weight from your hand will be enough pressure for you gauge your partner’s reaction. Again, do they pull away? Do they moan in ecstasy? Do they slap your hand away? Curse you out like you’re crazy? Whisper, “Tighter?”

The answers to the above questions will tell you if your partner liked what you’ve tried. If they like it, go a little further: slap the ass harder, pull the hair a bit, apply a tiny amount of pressure to their throat (you don’t want your partner to black out, so watch their eyes!). Try these things at the spur of the moment. The sexual experience will be greater for both of you if your partner likes whatever it is you’ve tried new.

If you’re still reading this article and are leery about the above suggestions, here’s something really simple you can try – different positions. If you’re unsure what positions to try, ask your friends what they like. Come on, you know we talk about sex with our friends. If you don’t, you need new friends lol.

Okay, so you don’t want to ask your friends … watch porn. If you see a move you like, try it. Whether your partner ends up liking the new position or not, it’ll still be a new experience and something to talk about together afterward. If they like it, do it again. Even talking about sex with your partner can help build intimacy with them and you may be surprised at what they suggest or say they want to try next.

There isn’t any reason for you to NOT talk about sexual things with your partner. You’re already having sex with them. Talk about it. Get to know what each other likes and dislikes. Try new things and find more things you both like. The bottom line to this short series is to help you and your partner grow in intimacy and have lots of amazing sex.

Let me know how things are working out for you *wink.*

Questions? Thoughts? A story to share? Comments? I’d love to read them all.

Published by

Dion

I journeyed from GED to a PhD in Psychology. I decided to focus on my writing once I retired from the clinical field. I write in various genres and have several WIPs for publication once edited. I post articles on this website for intellectual and entertainment purposes.

0 thoughts on “How to Touch a Woman: Lesson Three”

  1. Many moons ago, my GF at the time surprised me with a flimsy nightgown and crotchless panties. I can still see her lowering herself onto my face into 69 position, and it gets me hard remembering it.

    1. Way to go GF!!! A lot of times, it’s the simply things that makes us smile and arouses us even years later.
      Thanks for commenting!

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